Accumulate

Snow days are nostalgic for me. We often ended up with a week or two worth of snow days over the winter season where I grew up. For me, no school was just one of the perks. The snow is the best part. Even as an adult I long for a snow day…or whatever I can get living in the south. The early morning hours of a snowstorm are sacred. Everything coated in a fresh cold slate, muffled living sounds of the neighborhood, everything holds still as larger flakes fall and accumulate on existing frosty coverage.

Accumulation is key.

Without accumulation, it’s only flurries melting as they hit ground. However, as they remain consistent, group together, maintain the right temperature, things start piling up. On the flip side, accumulating the wrong precipitation does not nearly have the same effect. Slush and sleet only weigh down the chance at that white crisp snowfall.

I have often found myself accumulating the wrong precipitation in my own environment. Observing the sky, wondering where all these circumstances and patterns came from. Hadn’t I performed the right deeds and grand gestures to receive my expected outcomes? Hadn’t I developed proper fulfillment formulas to produce results? Rather, as I’ve come to slowly understand: it’s the unnoticed unctions, discrete daily habits, personal preferences and subtle skews that determine what accumulates in our lives. Additionally, if all of these are of my own design, they’ll ultimately leave me wanting.

To use an example from my life: Bitterness and resentment always seemed to accumulate unknowingly until it was thick as ice. It wasn’t as if I sought this duo in my life. In fact, I did what I could to keep them at bay, stuffing them down farther. However, consistent people pleasing was my habitual choice. So ingrained in me, I consistently chose it under an illusion that I was serving others. Doing what I was told, telling others exactly what they wanted to hear. At the slightest sense of conflict I could pull out every card needed. Protecting others from the heavier truths, as if it was a sacred burden that I alone was capable of carrying. And yet I wondered, why new resentments and bitterness cropped up like weeds in my life. Endlessly pulling up each sprout only for two more to take root elsewhere.

Through retrospect, it's no wonder I easily developed such hardness of heart. At the time however, I had no idea where it came from. I lived life certain that conflict was always negative and success meant avoiding it.

A man reaps what he sows. Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. Ga 6:7–8

I think God watched me live that way for long enough and allowed me to see how destructive it was. Ultimately, and thankfully, He lead me to a revelation that:

If I genuinely care about others, I must fear God more than I fear them.

And with that truth, I had something new to begin accumulating.

As I began to say what is true rather than what I think others wanted to hear, it changed the patterns of my life. My interactions became more authentic, I received truth in return, I was relieved of the burden of silent suffering.The ability to say what is true is powerful.

but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ. Eph 4:15

I've seen people be 'brutually honest'. And I suppose sometimes it works. But saying it in love and kindness, that seems to be a whole other level. Even now, I often find myself seeking to Lord to refine my ability to speak truth. And I’ll be honest, practicing it still feels dangerous. Like wielding tool beyond my skillset. Every day, in every interaction, I must ask myself if I’m choosing truth. However, as I continue to submit my authenticity to the Lord, I cannot deny the evidence of accumulation that I’ve seen as a result.

I'll pull on this thread of truth a little more. Dr. Jordan Peterson proposes it this way, “Whatever makes itself manifest as a consequence of the truth, is the best possible reality that could be manifest even if you can’t see it.”

Our daily choices to deliver truth or falsehood add up over time. Any reality made manifest by years of inauthenticity, is a personal world built on shifting sand. Whereas, practicing authenticity with others and obedience to The Truth, (even if we find ourselves stumbling through it) delivers us to a reality built on solid rock.

Now, I think we can take this concept and scale it out a bit. As far as I can tell, whatever we do each day is a deposit into an account. Exercise, healthy eating, church, time with family & friends, scripture readomg, commitment to truth, being authentic, etc. Over the course of time, you see the positive rate of return on those investments. Then, what has been accumulated, now earns compound interest.

In a similar way, the opposite choices are a deposit into a negative account. The more you invest in this account, the more you owe. Dollar cost averaging into people-pleasing, returns bitterness. Which offers stock options in passive aggressiveness. Which sets you up for leveraged trades of resentment. Ultimately, accruing a debt you must lie about to avoid default. Our lives and reality around us, warps under the weight of this debt. Our relationships and community crumble without the foundation of truth and trust keeping it sound. And what did it start with? A small and consistent deposit.

I had been gnawing on this thought for a couple years and recently came across an excerpt from C.S. Lewis ‘Mere Christianity’ (which, for me, validated I was on the right track). He says, “Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of.”

I believe this even goes beyond our own individual lives and creates a ripple effect in our families as well. Just like a good inheritance goes to the surviving relatives. A negative account can also be passed down our bloodline. What we fail to handle in our lives gets passed down to our children. Maybe they don’t notice it, maybe they are too afraid to call it out. Then they pass it to their children and so on. What started small in the first generation, has amassed into unmanageable storm for the third and fourth generations.

Sure, maybe my patterns didn’t start with me. Maybe they were there long before I was born. Regardless, they’re mine now. I can either choose to let them pass on or I can partner with Christ. Through a renewal of mind and spirit I can begin to develop the small disciplines that decide large outcomes.

“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much." Lk 16:10

As we individually incorporate biblical habits, disciplines, and obedience, an expansion occurs. The process begins to extend beyond us and serves break the chains of unhealthy generational cycles and passes on something greater. An emotional, mental, and spiritual inheritance that provides the groundwork for those you love to flourish.

Whatever small things we've allowed God to do within us individually, is ultimately our life's accumulation.